Essential oil? Your car will thank you.

I’m not sure if I’m the only person whose eyes glaze over immediately upon walking into a Pep Boys. Since all of the motor oil looks basically the same to me, I usually default to choosing the cheapest one. I live by the motto, “If I can’t eat it or wear it, I’ll take my bargain bin options.” However, I’ve recently learned through various Groupon life choices (don’t buy a colonic session on a discount website...lesson learned, universe!), that cheapest isn’t always the way to go.

It turns out that the oil you put in your car really matters. Motor oil is the blood of your sweet ride, it keeps your engine running and moving smoothly. It’s recommended to check your oil once a month, and change it every 5,000 miles.


Olive? Coconut? If you’re unsure about what your car needs, refer to the owners manual for the manufacturer’s recommendations. Forgot where you put that dang thing? No worries, Amazon lets you search by make and model to find the best oil for your engine.


Make sure your car is parked on level ground (a hill would not be a great place to do this), and that the engine is cold (do this before you start doing donuts in the Target parking lot). Pop that hood and find that dipstick...the one that lives in your car engine, not every single LA based male on Tinder AMMIRITE LADIES (said as every single female comic standing in front of a brick wall circa the early 1990s)?

Pull the dipstick out, get all the dipstick-based jokes out of your system, and wipe the oil off from the end. The put the dipstick back into the tube and make sure it’s all the way in. Pull it out again and look at the tip to see where the oil is (this sounds way more sexual than it actually is...unless you’re into that sort of thing, in which case, vroom vroom, you do you). Each dipstick may have a different way of indicating the proper oil level at the tip, it may be two little holes or the words MIN and MAX.

If the top of the oil “streak” is between these two points, the level is all good. If the streak is below the minimum mark, you’ll need to add some oil. The oil itself should be brown or black, if it’s any other color it could indicate something is leaking into the engine. If you notice this, or any small metal particles when you wipe off the dipstick, you’ll want to get to the mechanic to see if there’s anything wrong with the engine itself.

If your oil level looks right according to the dipstick, put him back into the engine, close the hood and, as Mamma ‘Ru would say, “Ladies, start your engines!”

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